Jaundice, Cows, and other Folley

So when a newborn baby gets dehydrated, it gets jaundice, which means it turns an orangy-yellow color and gets sluggish. Because breastmilk typically takes a few days to come in, babies are shielded from this by being born swollen. The extra fluid protects them from dehydration. But if they are particularly susceptible, or the milk takes longer, they can get it anyways. I didn't realize that she was orange, I just thought she inherited Jason's beautiful tanned skin tone. I guess when you look at these photos, it's hard to imagine that's all it is. What can I say? I was blinded by love... and cuteness.

So, to combat the jaundice, you give the baby all the fluids you can get from your breasts, and you pump like crazy to get the milk to come in. Unfortunately, the prematurity and the jaundice make the baby sluggish. Sadie wouldn't wake up on her own to eat, so we had to wake her ourselves. Her suckle was weak (also due to both prematurity and jaundice), so I had to work with her constantly to get her to open her mouth and move it once she got it wide enough to take in my nipple. Her mouth was small, so I also had to wear a nipple shield so that she could take in the nipple. Once she got started, I had to tickle her, move her body and mouth, massage her chin, rub her head, blow lightly on her face, walk my fingers up her back, and undress her down to her diaper to get her to stay awake enough to work with me. I would do that on one side for 15 minutes, have Jason change her diaper, then do it on the other side for 15 minutes. It was such a chore.

In addition, to ensure my milk supply, I had to pump for 15 minutes after each feeding. In the end, my milk supply came in on Wednesday, Sadie's fifth day of life. And I mean it came IN. Usually a size 34 B on a good day, I exploded to a double D. I wasn't prepared for it - it was so uncomfortable. Thankfully, I have gone down to a single D. I am still a milk cow. Even now, Sadie frequently chokes and sputters as my milk lets down as she just can't keep up with the speedy flow. Poor thing.

Anyway, so I would spend 30 minutes feeding and 15 minutes pumping. Add the diaper change and the clean up and you end up at about an hour. Every two hours. That means once you're done, you've got about one hour before you have to start again. We were so exhausted!

But that wasn't even the worst of it. In spite of all of our efforts, Sadie's jaundice worsened and she lost more weight. We came home from the hospital on a Monday and returned to the doctor for bilirubin checks on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. Each time we returned, we hoped we would hear that we could spread out the feedings to three hours or more. And each time we returned home with the same plan. By Thursday, we decided to see a lactation specialist. And given that I had milk in gads and it seemed it was all ending up in the freezer when it needed to be getting into my baby, we started giving Sadie back what I was pumping. Not all of it, because I was pumping two to three ounces a breast by Friday. All she needed was 25 mL (less than one ounce). So I would breastfeed and then Jason would bottle feed while I pumped. By Monday, her bilirubin was leveling off. But until she was back to her birth weight, we could not slow down feeds or stop waking her at night to feed. We returned to the doctor when she was one week, two weeks, and then three weeks. No changes. By the beginning of week three, I was over it. I couldn't take it, I was ready to throw in the towel. Jason had returned to work and was no longer able to help much at night, I was beyond exhausted, I was sick of pumping, and I was ready to throw in the towel and just start formula. I cried to him before he left for work that morning. I don't know how he made it out the door. He told me to adjust my attitude, that this was temporary but necessary for our little girl. And then, just when I thought I could go on no longer, finally, she passed her birth weight.

I nearly cried.

We were overjoyed, mostly for ourselves that we could let her start waking us up at night instead of vice versa. Nobody told me that ALL newborns need to feed every 2-3 hours. I shouldn't have been so dismayed when she continued waking us up at night every 2.5 to 3 hours. I didn't get more than two hours sleep in a row for weeks. However, I did get to stop pumping, and it's a good thing because our freezer is FULL. Bags come in 150 and 180 mL sizes. We overfilled them so as not to go through them so quickly. We still have over 100 bags of milk stored. I wasn't lying - I really am a milk COW.

Thank heaven for family - Jason was able to stay home to help for two weeks. Then his mother came over during week three and my parents arrived at the end of week 4. I would have gone crazy if not for these dear folks!